I am Not Destitute!

“I have enough money for today.” My Girl

So it’s been a month and a few days since I left my old life. It’s been a heck of a month too….very busy at work doing two jobs, annoyed and stressed by the passive aggressive Husband, and getting back into a soon to be long distance relationship with My Girl. I have made my own decisions, made my own plans, and spent my own money on many things I needed and many many things I didn’t really need just now but wanted. And while I did at times worry I was spending too much, it was so nice not to have to explain why I was spending so much and hear “Well you are done shopping now right?” said in a snotty way. He always acted like I went on spending sprees every few days, but never mind the weekly bowling league, or golf outings, or boys weekends, or random car improvements!

The best thing though was that I found a budget tracking spreadsheet and did a very highly inflated rough guess with anything I could think of from bills I had seen….and I had $15 left but I figured if I wasn’t below zero when expenses were ridiculously exaggerated, I would be ok when I actually kept track.

I paid all the bills with first Husband, and we lived paycheck to paycheck, and in the end didn’t even do that. I still get calls from collection agencies for him!

Second Husband was bothered by that, and also didn’t trust me to handle the bills because I am not good at math. Because once I added when I should have subtracted or something like that.

Then when I told him I was done and wanted to separate, he said that I don’t know how to manage money and without my income we would both be “destitude.” I used to correct him when he said words wrong, but then it just caused more trouble for me so I bit my tongue and ignored it to not have to deal with it. Plus it was offensive that he thought I would let either of us lose everything, that he actually thought I didn’t have a clue about most things when I have a master’s degree and he just went to a trade school!

I have heard about how screwed he is because he won’t get a raise because his company is slow, how the kids have camps to go to (already paid for), and that I have bought a fancy crock pot and coffeemaker (said in a snotty way in front of our kids). Then when I said it was stuff I needed he tells me, no I didn’t really need it, I could have stayed and worked it out. And then he buys a fancy speaker and huge ass tv for his bedroom. Really?

I wrote everything in my budget tracker. I had regular bills and apartment needs, and gas and groceries, and a few unexpected expenses too. My checkbook is balanced and I still had about 40% of my income left!!!! Now I had some unexpected income too, but the point is, I made it through the month, paying what I had to pay and some I didn’t know I was going to pay, buying some I didn’t really need, and after all that I had money left. I figured it out, and wasn’t destitute and didn’t overdraw my account!

I supported myself, and my kids some of the time, and it wasn’t so hard! I had enough money for all the todays in May! It’s a small accomplishment, but it won’t be my last.



5 thoughts on “I am Not Destitute!

    1. Thanks LD. It’s nice to have a little self-confidence again. When all you hear is you don’t have a clue it’s tough to not believe it. Thanks for the support! 🙂


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