“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” ~ Mark Twain
Today I had a severe mood swing, partly Sunday blahs and partly my Horoscope telling me I am anxious about an upcoming situation. Gee, thanks! Then I went for groceries with my daughter and really felt “great” as I selected a prepared turkey and gravy meal and mashed sweet potatoes to eat by myself after my kids go back with their father.
Then I told myself that being alone on Thanksgiving meant that I wouldn’t have to listen to my in-laws fuss over their first (and favorite) grandchild and his beautiful fiancée. Then I giggled and thought well I’m going to Hell for sure for that one.
So, since it cheered me and I am already going to Hell, let’s do a list of other positive things about being alone on Thanksgiving.
1. I don’t have to explain again that I don’t like pumpkin pie, never did, and I don’t want to try a piece anyway.
2. I won’t get a headache from everyone talking loudly over each other.
3. I can put pjs back on, if I ever took them off! I am having breakfast with my children after all!
4. I don’t have to watch football!
5. I don’t have to help cleanup and then have things put away in a different spot than I put them.
6. I don’t have to make small talk!
7. I don’t have to remind my brother-in-law how old my kids are or what grades they are in.
8. I don’t have to worry about being the first to arrive or leave. That was so annoying driving around the block or waiting for someone else to announce they were leaving.
9. I don’t have to listen to Almost Ex complain about his brother talking with his mouth full.
10. I don’t have to have Almost Ex “be helpful” by asking for the butter for my mashed potatoes, since I don’t like gravy, and have a big deal made about it, like #1!
Yes, saying these things might send me to Hell, but I know I will have good company there! And it’s hot!