At Least I Won’t be Alone

“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”  ~ Mark Twain

Today I had a severe mood swing, partly Sunday blahs and partly my Horoscope telling me I am anxious about an upcoming situation.  Gee,  thanks! Then I went for groceries with my daughter and really felt “great”  as I selected a prepared turkey and gravy meal and mashed sweet potatoes to eat by myself after my kids go back with their father.

Then I told myself that being alone on Thanksgiving meant that I wouldn’t have to listen to my in-laws fuss over their first (and favorite) grandchild and his beautiful fiancée.  Then I giggled and thought well I’m going to Hell for sure for that one.

So,  since it cheered me and I am already going to Hell, let’s do a list of other positive things about being alone on Thanksgiving.

1. I don’t have to explain again that I don’t like pumpkin pie, never did, and I don’t want to try a piece anyway.

2.  I won’t get a headache from everyone talking loudly over each other.

3. I can put pjs back on,  if I ever took them off! I am having breakfast with my children after all!

4. I don’t have to watch football!

5. I don’t have to help cleanup and then have things put away in a different spot than I put them.

6. I don’t have to make small talk!

7. I don’t have to remind my brother-in-law how old my kids are or what grades they are in.

8. I don’t have to worry about being the first to arrive or leave. That was so annoying driving around the block or waiting for someone else to announce they were leaving.

9. I don’t have to listen to Almost Ex complain about his brother talking with his mouth full.

10. I don’t have to have Almost Ex “be helpful” by asking for the butter for my mashed potatoes, since I don’t like gravy, and have a big deal made about it, like #1!

Yes, saying these things might send me to Hell, but I know I will have good company there! And it’s hot!