I’m “off” again. I was in a great mood, then the day wore on me and now I am frustrated and irritable.
I feel tired but not sleepy because my body is still three hours behind. I even cleaned the upstairs bathrooms but it didn’t help.
I left messages for My Girl, but I don’t think she received them. That has been an ongoing problem and it upsets both of us. I booked her flight home, but she didn’t call to tell me she knew. So unless something awful happened and triggered her, she didn’t get the message. Either way, I have no idea what is going on and can’t help, and she imagines I am upset with her and doesn’t get any encouragement from her one lifeline that she desperately needs to have. Bad situation all around.
My neighbor is outside talking loudly on her cell phone. That’s considerate at 10 pm.
My cats are fighting.
The friend taking care of our cats filled the litter garbage so full I almost couldn’t get it out of the trash can because it was so heavy. At least that was an opportunity to swear a bit.
A bill I tried to pay for My Girl was returned because I didn’t have the full account number on the check. Seriously? How many people are paying bills just enough to use someone else’s credit card? How many people are stealing identities after paying the bill? I get it. They would rather be uber safe than be sued. But damn. I am trying to help it not be overwhelming when she comes home and now it will be even later until it gets paid.
I’m hot with just the window open but cold with the fan on.
I’m out of sorts, back on the emotional rollercoaster. Back to going through the motions for another week. My firm has an open house on Thursday, and I am not looking forward to being a charming extrovert even though the management didn’t follow directions in time and it’s more staff than clients coming. Already things have gone wrong… and we can’t wait until it’s over with. But at least there will be wine.
I did have two positive things today… I called myself My Girl’s girlfriend when I was talking to the facility about her plane ticket and finding out what the discharge procedure is. That is a big thing for me, because I haven’t said it publicly to anyone other than my therapist. There were not any huge gasps… which My Girl always cutely tells me most people don’t care anymore.
Then in the corporate magazine there was a new female senior engineer who has a wife! So that was good that my company is tolerant. It made me consider coming out at the holiday party and taking My Girl, if she feels up to it. We’ll see…..
So at least I am not all doom and gloom today…. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.